A federal judge has dismissed the case against Jim Jordan brought by Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg. According to reports, The Honorable Joseph Barron informed the appropriate counsel this morning.
“Judge Barron doesn’t believe there’s any merit to the case,” said 1st Clerk of the Veritas Art Tubolls, “and has therefore dismissed it with prejudice.”
Legal experts are split on what this means for Bragg moving forwards. Our own attorney, Thomas Bagger, says the Manhattan DA has a tough row to hoe.
“This essentially gives Congress the go-ahead to harass Bragg as often as they want, which should seriously hinder the prosecution of the former President,” said Bagger, “you can expect Marge and BoBo to have their cages set up outside his door so they can sling poop at him when he emerges.”
Other experts disagree with that assessment, citing issues with a lack of precedent and possibly jurisdiction. Harvard Law Professor Joe Konders says while the dismissal is a nice sentiment, it doesn’t really carry much weight.
“Barron isn’t the judge in the case,” said Konders, “he can dismiss it all he likes.”
Our experts are evaluating the situation with that information now, as it would be a bit misleading to allow that headline to circulate. As such.
The editorial department will take up the issue after people stop clicking. God Bless America.